


If I Had My Time Again

by GayDownworlder



Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:12:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayDownworlder/pseuds/GayDownworlder
Summary: What if Jesus had been able to escape before the crucifixion? Would he be able to get to Judas in time?(incredibly self-indulgent, JCS '12 arena tour's universe but works with all of them I guess)





	If I Had My Time Again

“Why are you doing this?”, Jesus asked hoarsely while suppressing a wince when the pressure on his wrists was released.

“I simply do not believe in the torture and murder of an innocent man”, was the guard’s grim reply as he helped Jesus to his feet. “Now go. Hurry! I hope I do not have to convince you to leave town?”

Jesus shook his head shortly. “I will be forever in your debt. Thank you.”

For a second the guard seemed flustered, but he quickly regained his composure and pushed Jesus towards the exit. However, right before their paths were about to separate, he stopped him. “Just one thing. You should know that your friend, the one who handed you over to the authorities?”

“Judas”, Jesus breathed softly, his expression pained.

“Yes, him. I cannot say for sure of course, but I’m fairly certain that he did not know what they would do to you. Because as soon as he found out, he tried everything to undo the deal- he was on his knees, begging for your release.” The guard grimaced as he remembered how the high-priests had mocked the broken man. “While I know that it is not my place, I still ask you to not judge him too harshly, should you encounter him.”

Jesus’ expression softened, and he laid a hand to his rescuer’s cheek. “Your heart is filled with such compassion, my friend, that it gives me hope for this land's future. However, here is no need for you to worry. I understand that Caiaphas and his men took advantage of Judas, in the cruelest way. I planned all along to find him and set things right.”

“Good, whatever”, the guard responded gruffly, but his relief was obvious. “Just _hurry_. Your disappearance won’t stay undetected for long.” 

After thanking him one last time, Jesus finally left and even though he was aching from head to toe, he immediately started to look for Judas. It probably would have been more sensible to find Maria Magdalene or one of his Apostles but there was no time to waste.

He could only imagine the emotional turmoil that was torturing Judas' mind and he was incredibly worried that he might do something rash. Judas was perceived as moody and rude by most, infamous for his violent temper and reckless impulsiveness. And while those assumptions were indeed somewhat accurate, they also barely scratched the surface.

_~Flashback~_

_The camp was quiet. The day's protests had taken a lot out of Jerusalem's fiercest rebels and everyone was in a deep slumber. Everyone but Jesus, who was unable to find rest. He had intended to lie down after his usual control round- a plan that had changed instantly upon the discovery that a certain someone was missing._

_It wasn't unusual for Judas to go off on his own but usually he’d let Jesus know beforehand. The fact that he hadn’t done that instilled a growing worry in Jesus and when Judas finally appeared at the entrance, trying to sneak in, he cut him off. “Where have you been?!”_

_His right-hand man froze in shock and surprise, he clearly hadn’t expected to get caught. “I- Just in town. You know, for a walk. To clear my head.”_

_“Right.” Jesus didn’t even try to mask his disbelief which grew only stronger when Judas inched further into the shadows. “You should know by now that I will not leave you alone until you tell me what’s wrong.”_

_“Nothing is wrong!”_

_It was a fruitless protest and they both knew it. All of a sudden Judas was hit by a coughing fit that left him breathless and clutching his middle. It took him a second too long to hide his pained expression, confirming Jesus’ suspicions that something was off._

_Out of all his followers, Judas was by far the most protective of Jesus and rarely let him out of sight. So whenever he avoided him, it was usually because-_

_“You’re hurt.” Jesus made sure to keep his voice calm and even, but Judas still flinched away as if he’d slapped him._

_“I’m not- what are you talking about, I-“_

_Jesus didn’t let him finish and grabbed him by the lapel of his coat, pulling him away from the shadow’s safe cover into the full moon’s soft light. It was just bright enough for Jesus to finally get a proper look at the other and it was worse than he had expected._

_Judas’ face was a mess- his left eye was basically swollen shut, the cheekbone below badly bruised and his split lip seemed to still be bleeding._

_Before Jesus could say something, Judas started pulling back “It’s nothing, please pay It no mind. You should rest, it’s been a long day.” He attempted a smile that ended up more of a pained grimace._

_Needless to say, Jesus was neither convinced nor amused. “Tell me what happened”, he said sharply, his tone leaving no room for argument. He hated how his hard gaze made Judas curl in on himself, but he couldn’t allow himself to back down. He needed to know the truth, how else was he supposed to take care of him properly?_

_“We were low on resources”, Judas started shakily, his fingers twitching at his sides. “Especially medical supplies. I just- I was only in town to get more.” With stiff movements he placed his backpack on the ground and opened it, revealing countless prescription bottles, bandages, ointments and multiple cans of food._

_Jesus’ eyes grew wide at the sight and his stomach churned uncomfortably. “Our budget couldn’t possibly have been anywhere near enough to cover all of that.”_

_“I didn’t steal it, I wouldn’t do that to y- I paid for everything, I swear.”_

_A small part of Jesus wished that he had stolen it. Because if he hadn’t-_

_“Where did you get the money?”_

_“I- what does it matter?” Judas’ voice gained a slightly panicked edge to it. “I didn’t take anything from our funds and I didn't steal it- we need this! Who cares how I got it, as long as we have it?!” He was looking pleadingly at Jesus, his eyes begging him to let the subject drop._

_Unfortunately, that wasn’t really an option. Jesus sighed sadly and gently brushed his fingers across the purple mark that darkened Judas’ cheek, pretending not to notice the other’s flinch._

_“I do. Of course, I care. How could I not when the price was your wellbeing? I cannot stand to see you hurt. You should know that by now.”_

_“It doesn’t matter”, Judas responded quickly. “It’s fine, I’m fine.”_

_Jesus felt his temper rise. “No, Judas. You are not. And if you don’t drop this stupid charade, neither of us will get any sleep tonight because I won't leave you alone until you tell me what happened.”_

_For a second it looked as if Judas wanted to argue further but then he relented with a frustrated huff._

_“I was fighting again, alright!? I know you disapprove of it and went anyways, because they pay well and it’s just about the only thing I’m any good at!” His previously defensive posture had gotten slightly aggressive- as it usually did when he was feeling cornered and vulnerable._

_Jesus’ anger dissipated, and he let his features soften. He glanced at the bag again and then let his gaze slide up to Judas’ bruised and endlessly tired face. “I wish you hadn’t done that, but… Thank you.”_

_The bewildered surprise on Judas’ part didn’t surprise Jesus, however it saddened him. It was clear that the other man had expected disdain and possibly a lecture- anything except for simple gratitude._

_~End Flashback~_

 

 


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